When life gives you lemons and you throw them away.

This is just going to be one long moan, so perhaps skip it and go and bake a cake or something.

I'm going to sit and write this evening. There's fifty seven other things I need to be doing. But it's time for a reflection before I actually give up on everything.

This dissertation mark the last ever academic piece of work I plan to do in my whole entire life. The whole process has been one long stress inducing, panic overloading nightmare. I've been sick, tired and nervous for months. And it's not getting any better.

In hindsight, deciding to write a dissertation on Mobile Libraries was a poor choice. Yes, it is a neglected research area. But I'm slowly learning why. Mobile libraries are, well, mobile. The communities they serve are rural, out of the way and tiny. Gathering enough data to analyse is difficult. This is not due to the mobile library staff, who are amazing, and have been ever so supportive. This is simply due to the fact that THEY ALL LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Seriously, I was trying to find one of the villages on one of the routes. I passed some houses, kept going, then ten minutes down the road realised that that tiny collection of houses was the village. And I cannot go around knocking on peoples doors or posting things through letterboxes due to the universities ethical guidelines, so I am relying on the help of a few willing local people and businesses who are leaving my questionnaires in waiting rooms and handing them out after church to get data from people who don't use the service. As for gathering data from the people who do use it, I've been essentially taking days off work to stalk the van around it's usual route then hover awkwardly in the vehicle asking anyone who comes aboard if they could possibly spare five minutes to fill in a questionnaire that may or may not be the difference between me passing or failing this thing. I am inept at asking people for things, and it usually ends up with me babbling and melting into an awkward floop.

I love my new job, I really do. But working every weekday, knowing all I have to come home to is an unfinished rambling about elderly library users and grounded theory is soul destroying. And also, most of the time,

I have no idea what I'm even doing.

Like literally.

I have a vague notion of the theories I'm using. I know that my interviews produced qualitative data. My research questions are changing by the minute to fit whatever theories are developing. Does my questionnaire produce qual data or quan? Because I've written an awful lot about qualitative data, then realised a few days ago, that maybe, just maybe, I'm doing a mixed methods approach. Who knows? I certainly don't. All the reading I did seemed to be hell bent on design of the study. Analysis? Anyone? I'm 23, and when I was in my teens, I honestly thought being 23, I would be the ultimate adult. Sure of everything and powerful, like Tina Fey or something. But I'm not. I'm sitting in my old bedroom at my parents house worrying about whether internet access affects mobile library usage in elderly people.

One glimmer of hope is that at the end of November I get to move to my new apartment. But however shiny this thought is, what plays on my mind most of the time, is that that moving in weekend will be a whole other weekend lost that I probably need to spend working on this nightmare. My emotions are warring right now. Sometimes I'm happy, especially at work. I'm doing a job I enjoy. Then half an hour later I'll be in work worrying about data analysis and thinking that I should be at home typing away like some possessed thing. The worst thing is waiting for data to come back. Twiddling my thumbs wondering if anything that comes back will even remotely fit the theories I'd drawn up. Or just wondering if anything will come back.

I'm tired of feeling guilty for doing fun things too. Like at the weekend I'll do some gaming with JJ and spend the next week internally beating myself up for it. It's wasted time. I'm constantly moaning about lack of time, so why take time to game, or watch anime, or see friends. Because I'm a massive hypocrite and my own worst enemy, that's why #emo.

I paid mucho moneys to do this course, which is why I wanted to do this dissertation, y'know, to get the most degree for my money. I have a supportive family, friendship group, supervisor and new boss. I've had so much time to write this thing. Life is hurling lemons at me and I just feel like I'm stomping them into an acidic, pulpy nothing.

This will literally be the most boring, whingey post I've ever written. You probably just skipped all of it. But writing it down helps. It always has. So, sorry, and maybe the next post will be more uplifting (but probably not, unless it's after Christmas). I hope the rest of the human world is happy today.

Over and out.

Hi stranger

Yes, it's been a while. Yes, I keep starting posts in this manner. Yes, I'm sorry.

I need to keep this blog going really. It gives me time, in between all the other crazy things I've got going on right now, to sit back and reflect. So let's reflect. What's changed since the last post?

I have a full time job! I am now an assistant librarian at an FE college. I will have been there for two months now, and I really, really enjoy the job. Now that's not to say I come home every night leaping for joy - some parts of the job can be tough. But I will do a separate post on the trials and tribulations of FE employment at a later date, there's way too much to squeeze in here.

I have no permanent home! So the new job was closer to my parents place than my Manchester flat, so for the time being I've moved back to live with them whilst me and JJ attempt to find a house that is commutable for us both. Watch this space for developments on that front.

I got an extension for my dissertation! Because of my shiny new job and the severe lack of time this now gives me to work on my project, they extended my deadline until Christmas. I am very grateful for this and it has basically saved my degree 'cause there was no way in hell that that dissertation would have been finished in time for September otherwise.

Progress has actually been made on the dissertation! I am about half way through, actually understand what it is I'm supposed to be doing, and am fairly on track. Essentially I might actually scrape a pass, and I am feeling marginally more optimistic about the whole situation. Cross all of your fingers and toes that I actually pull this off, as the whole process has been more draining and stress inducing than anything I've ever done in my life before. Ever.

So that's that. The whole last couple of months squeezed into some short points. Perhaps I'll blog again soon as I want to keep track of things I'm doing in my new job, as I love looking back on the posts I did when I was at the school library. Then again, perhaps I'll disappear again until Christmas, who knows.

If you're reading this, thanks.

Over and out.

School Librarian interview questions

Following on from my last post I had a job interview for the position of School Librarian at a mixed Grammar School recently. Here's the process and the sorts of questions I was asked as part of my interview.

Firstly, I had a tour of the school led by three year eight pupils. This was a good opportunity to ask them any questions about the librarian, the school and anything else relevant. They were fairly chatty, and probably happy to be skipping lessons. This was about 20 minutes long.

I then had my interview. This was given by the Head of English and the Vice Principal of the school and lasted roughly 15-20 minutes. I really should have written down what they asked me but various questions that come to mind include:

- A group of year nine boys are being disruptive in the library, how would you handle the situation? What would you do if they started to undermine your authority?

- What made you apply for the role? Tell us about yourself.

- How would you promote the library, or an event/it's services? Beyond 'lots of posters'.

- How would you entice a group of young teenage boys who do not read for pleasure to use the library?

- [Typical safeguarding question] What would you do if a student came and told you something in confidence.

- Are you still a candidate for the job? (As in...do I still want it? Well duh, if I turned up, surely!)

Lastly I had to lead a book group session. This was observed by an English teacher and the Librarian. I was only told that six children would bring their own books to talk about and I would have to lead a discussion on three things:

'The value of reading'
'What makes a good book'
'Age ranges/suitability'

I had no idea how old these children would be, or how long I was supposed to go on for. I planned something that I hoped I could adapt last minute for age ranges and something in case the kids I got were all super quiet (which they were). The kids ended up being a mix of boys and girls from year eight and I tried to keep it going for about 15 minutes, however I lost track of the time in the end. I don't think I did terribly, but this was definitely my weakest section, despite running book clubs in the past for high schoolers.

Sadly I didn't get the job, however I was by far the youngest there and my feedback was mainly that I needed more years of experience. Le sigh. I hope someone out there finds this useful.

Over and out.

Library Assistant interview questions

Quick Tuesday post!

So this morning I had an interview. It's the first interview for a library related job I've had since starting my course, for a part time library assistant position at a small public library. I just thought I'd share the questions that I was asked, a) to help me remember for the future and b) to help anyone else out there prepare for a similar interview. I had three people interviewing me, and overall the interview lasted about 30-40 minutes.

*I can't remember the order that I was asked these questions, nor can I remember exactly how they were worded so bear with me on the dodgy grammar here*

How do you like to feel when you come to work in the morning? (This threw me a little, I hadn't prepared for this!)

Can you give some examples of good teamwork you've been a part of in a previous role? What are good teamwork skills?

What do you think are important qualities for a library assistant today? Has the role changed?

How would you suggest a book to someone? [Then after this] How would you suggest a book to someone if a person were looking for a book from a genre you weren't familiar with. What resources would you use?

What do you know about [the library where the role was based]? What services do we offer? Who do we work with?

How would you approach leading a rhyme time session for pre-schoolers?

How would you handle an unhappy library user?

Give an example of a book you read and really enjoyed.

Talk about this years summer reading challenge theme (I was asked to research this in the email that offered me the interview, so could prepare for this).

How do you like to feel at the end of a working day?

And at the end they asked if I had any questions and I had a couple prepared so I didn't do the "ermmmmmm, not really" that I usually do.

And that's all I can remember! There was probably others, but that's all I could dredge from my relieved brain on the train home. I will hear whether or not I was successful tomorrow. For now,

Over and out.

The 'D' word.

No, not that word.

Continuing the theme of getting back into the swing of things, it's that time of the year when the 'dissertation' word keeps popping up in social media feeds and in my own brain once in a while. So far I have completed the taught part of my post graduate degree, which if you study full time at my university lasts from September to May. This gets me a Post Graduate Diploma. To make it into a full Masters degree I have to spend my summer months writing a dissertation.

Now, after the pure hell that was April/May I seriously considered not completing it. Just skipping far, far away with my PGDip and never worrying about it again. However I have decided, against all my grumpy thoughts, to do it. Why? Three golden reasons:

One: I paid lots of shiny money to do this course. I'm getting all the teaching time/access to recourses with my money that I possibly can squeeze from this degree.

You know you're old when this makes you grumpy rather than happy. WHAT AM I PAYING FOR DANGNABBIT?!

(Picture Credit: Reddit)

Two: It's only 18,000 words. Which sounds like a lot, but it's only a similar length to my undergrad dissertation (even though that one was creative writing based and probably was a lot more fun than this one is going to be).

When you over use a thesaurus because you need so, so many words.

(Picture Credit: weknowmemes)

Three: I'm sort of a completest. I was the kid who had to get every single gem on each level of Spyro. I'm the adult who never (almost) gives up on a book, even if it's awful and boring, because I've started, so I MUST FINISH so I can give it a sucky one star review on Goodreads. So I feel like if I complete this degree to the end, I have completed it, very fully, all levels passed and there's no re-doing it. Inner satisfaction will reign.

Nothing felt more satisfying than this ever 

(Picture Credit: addictedgamewise)

I'll hopefully be writing about Mobile Libraries, conducting case study, interview and questionnaire research in order to see how they're utilized today, what communities they serve and review best practise suggestions from leading bodies with the aim of suggesting improvements to either the services or the advice given by leading authorities on the topic. A little side-aim is to help add to the literature justifying the need for Mobile Libraries, as all the articles recently seem to be about closures to services :(  All I need is consent from a few county councils to come and look at their vehicles and talk to their libraries, which so far is proving more difficult that I would have guessed. First, no-one will answer your emails, then you're passed from person to person which so far has left me with no-one willing to chat with me about it. I will persevere. I hope the librarian ideals of being helpful and sharing information will come out in some council authorities soon and they'll be willing to work with me. I'm a nice person, honestly! 

Wish me luck,
Over and out.

I'm back from hell and blogging again. My thoughts on the Manchester homeless protest...

It's been nearly five months since the last post. That's mainly down to the five months of being stuck in an endless cycle of assignment hell. I don't think I've ever been more stressed in my entire life. Never do I ever want to go through that ever again. Ever. My education journey ends when I submit my dissertation in September. But enough of that misery. Something that's very much on my radar right now is the homeless protest at Manchester Central Library.

Now, this is something that both the local and national press have picked up. Even if you don't really know why they're doing it, most in Manchester have now seen the cluster of tents pitched outside the central library building and the adjacent town hall. The council continues to battle to evict them as we speak, and continues to talk with them about their concerns. Their aim, so far as I can tell, is that the protesters want homelessness to be addressed properly by the council, after figures of homeless people shot up within a year: "Government figures show homelessness was up 79 per cent from 24 to 43 people in Manchester between 2013 and 2014" As of the 7th May the court allowed them to stay in their current location for at least another week, until their appeal hearing.

Picture from The Guardian

This is all very well, but what does it have to do with the library? Apart from the fact that their tents are pitched all around the entrance? The picture above shows the entrance to the library with tents right up to the front door under the arch. The library itself hadn't been under much fire from the protestors, as they were mainly focussing on the council, who occupy buildings next door to the library. But then this happened:

From The Guardian: “Unfortunately, the protesters had to be removed from central library on two occasions yesterday, after physically attempting to force their way into the building in order to occupy it, causing distress to children and families using the library as well as members of city council staff. Members of the group were arrested for public order offences and assaults on security staff,” he said in a statement.

The library had to close early and as a result homeless persons have been banned from the library, including use of their toilets. Now I have several thought on this.

1) Surely there must be some homeless people not involved with the protest who are now really pissed that a small few have restricted their privilege to what should be a free and open space for all. I'm not saying that the library should become a shelter for the homeless, but I often see homeless persons in the library simply reading the newspaper, or possibly just sitting somewhere safe for a few hours. I've never seen them be abusive or distressing to others. The actions of a few have decided the outcome for a large number of people.

2) A library is supposed to be a free and open space for all. Its one of the only places you can go without a reason to be there. you can just walk in and browse or sit. But when offering a service like this, it comes with a certain amount of trust on both sides. The public trusts the library to provide them with materials and services, the library trusts the public to use them well and fairly. With the storming of the library the balance shifted and there were consequences to this. What did the protestors expect would come of this?

3) One thing it did achieve was to give the protest more fuel, as in: "the council won't let us use the library, our rights are being infringed" etc. The action of barring the homeless from the library paints it in a really bad light, when they really only did what they could do ensure the safety of the other library users. How would they have looked if they continued to allow the group access, and set up camp in the foyer or if something more extreme happened, causing someone from either the protest group, the library/council or another member of the public to get hurt?

4) In the protestors defence, I do believe access to the library should be allowed by all. However after banning the homeless, the library could concentrate more on it's outreach provision. I wonder how much central library does in their provision of services to homeless shelters or temporary housing. This could be a way of appeasing both sides.

5) Homeless people can usually use libraries, provided they abide by the 'house rules' that apply to everyone e.g, not being aggressive or abusive to staff and other members. However many can not become members of the library, one reason for example, might be due to having no address. This is a tricky one. Libraries are underfunded, that's sort of a given right now. So if stock is lent out to the homeless and is either not returned, or returned damaged from rain or other factors that might arise from living outside and being on the move often, then the library will have to replace it. It might be considered a cost that can be avoided. However the library wants to have as many people as possible using the service, so providing materials to the homeless might be one way of boosting usage.

It's a difficult situation, however (and I may be shouted at for this) I believe the library's reaction to the storming was justified. I just think it could have been tailored: perhaps just banning the certain individuals involved in the protest. But overall I think they did what they thought was best for the majority of the library users. I think they need to talk on neutral ground with the protestors about library services for the homeless and re-evaluate what the library expects from it's users to keep the balance of trust. Otherwise this is going to go no-where, and the protestors will continue to use the banning as fuel for their campaign.

On a more light-hearted note, hopefully I'll be blogging more often now the bulk of my work is done, so keep an eye out for further posts. Sorry this was so long and serious!

Over and out.

Harry Potter: am I just fussy?

So Happy New Year! Seasons Greeting to all, and I hope that you all had a beautiful festive season, whether you celebrate a faith or not. It's a busy season for uni deadlines and a busy season in retail. On a student librarian note I was tressss lucky to receive several books and book tokens on Christmas Day (literallysohappy!!) and I had something special in mind for my book tokens.

For ages now I've wanted a nice set of Harry Potter books. The editions me and my brother read as kids are somewhat knackered. There are loose pages, spines are peeling and cracked, chunks of the books are covered in what is probably food (I used to read when eating cereal in a morning before school) and basically one more read might just kill them off. I love the first editions, not because they're particularly beautiful (I remember getting the seventh book when it first came out and being like "whut? Who drew this?"), but because they're my Harry Potter's. They're the versions I couldn't wait to get hold of, they're the versions I spent hours curled over, they're the versions that came with me everywhere, in case there was a spare minute for extra reading.

 

(Image reference)

 

Yeah, you know the ones. However, so far as I can find, a box set of these beauties does not exist. And you cannot buy them new, individually without spending a small fortune. So what other versions have come out in the UK? Well, If memory serves me correctly, I remember an 'adult' box set becoming available shortly after publishing houses realised that Harry Potter was just as bigger hit with grown up people as it was with the smaller humans. This is what they came up with:

 

 



(Image reference)

 

Seriously. Yawn. I am not a fan. If I had to pick one, it might be the first, because of the shiny, red stone (basically the only one with any colour). But no, even if you can still get this box set, I don't think I'd bother personally.

 

The next series I remember (there may have been more series than there are in this blog post, these are just the one's that spring to mind for me), were these simple beauties:

 

(Image reference)

 

Now these, I don't mind. I quite like The Prisoner of Azkaban especially. These illustrations were done by Clare Melinsky, who did a good job to be honest. The illustrations stand out against the white backdrop and gone is the gloomy, hideous look of the other 'adult' editions. These would appeal to kids or adults and I enjoy the sparkly Harry Potter signature on the top.  If I was going to actively source a newer edition, it would be this one. What are Bloomsbury's latest offerings for HP fans?

 

(Image reference: Bloomsbury)

 

Okay, if you haven't seen these for your very own eyes, this picture can be deceiving. The colours are actually very, very bright. Basically it looks like a bunch of highlighter pens had an orgy all over what is actually some pretty detailed illustration. Here's the fourth book as an example:

 

(Image reference)

 

Look at the detail behind all that yellow. How awesome would that be as a cover? Now I know I complained about the first lot of 'adult' books being too dull. But this is the opposite problem. THE YELLOW HURTS MY EYES. Though not as much as the florescent pink on the first book. Also: we know who wrote it. We don't need Rowling's name (however awesome and brilliant she may be) taking up half of the page. Even the titles are smaller. Gumbling onwards here is the latest editions, released by Bloomsbury:

 

(Image reference: Bloomsbury)

 

Now these have their merits. Unlike my cherished childhood editions, they're all drawn by the same artist, a guy called Jonny Duddle, so continuity is great. It's not a bad set. I love the colours, I love the shadowy, magical element they seem to have. However I have two main problems. Now I know good old Voldy has been made flesh, via the magic of Cinema. We tend to associate him with Ralph Fiennes and this laugh. But one thing I liked about the original covers is that Voldemort didn't appear on any of the covers. It added to his mystery and made him more scary. But lo, see his shiny noggin on the 7th cover. Also, in these editions, Harry seems to grow from age 11...to about age 14. Here's the Deathly Hallows, original and new:

 

(Image reference)

 

And if we zooooom:

 

 

On the left: The Harry not far off his 20's. On the right: Benjamin Button Harry. To conclude I'm a fussy bugger with book covers, despite the fact you should never judge a book blahblah. What I'd love is a nice shiny set of the original covers for under fifty quid, so I can pretend I'm a kid/teen again when I read them. But if that's not gonna happen I might see if I can source the Melinsky versions. Or just wait and see what Bloomsbury do for the next cover they create.

 

Are there any other covers that I missed? Which do you like best? Here is a Telegraph article comparing the old and new kids covers if you're interested. I'll update if I ever get a hold of a set. What is important to mention here is that the story (should) be the same no matter what binding and pictures and stuff you cover it in. Long live Harry (even if he's trapped in miserable grey colours).

 

For now,

Over and out.